The work under analysis explores the social problem of overusing cellphones which results from psychological problems. However, this is only one side of the problem; it is significant to remind readers about the fact that employing cellular phones itself can become a reason for getting addicted to such devices. It can be compared to how people become drinkers: some of them consume alcoholic beverages because of pain or other negative issues. Others just like the taste of alcohol and drink with friends; then, such people realize that this has become an addiction. Thus, although the paper focuses on the phones overuse caused by psychological problems, a reminder about the fact that employing cellphones itself might be harmful should be inserted in the first paragraph of the work.
Another area that can be improved is the focus mainly on teenagers. Indeed, adolescents are more likely to get used to employing cellular phones because they have been born in the digital era. However, attention should also be paid to younger children for whom it is hard to imagine their lives without cellular phones. Such boys and girls get accustomed to using cellphones at an early age; some of them learn how to employ phones before acquiring the skills of speaking and walking. Little boys and girls spend much time playing games, listening to music, or just tapping buttons of cellphones. Due to this addiction, they might become stunted of unsociable. Hence, it is significant to address this side of the issue, too. It might be done right after the third paragraph of the essay on page 2 because there, such an insertion would seem logical. Speaking about the questions, all parts of the text are logical and persuasive; they do not need being corrected.